It occured to me after reading the last post later that I didn't quite explain, for those of you (most) that don't know, our situation. Or maybe I should say, what impact this has on our lives directly.
We're a one income family. Dominic is the sole provider, although I'm working on at least adding to our income some with MO Creations and with this blog of mine. We decided early on that I would be a stay at home mom. It's something that's very important to us.
For about a year and a half, Dominic was an Independent Contractor. He essentially 'owned his own company'. He 'contracted' with a company that contracts with auto parts companies and dealerships to transport auto parts. He used his own vehicle and was responsible for all taxes. It was NOT financially worth it, but it's what was available. Because he worked for himself, there were no benefits and we could not afford to buy them on our own. No way!! So the hunt was on for a better job. Better pay, benefits, better company...better everything. We found one. In March, he started working at a solar company. He assembles and eventually, will help install solar collectors. It's a great company overall. They have some odd business practices (they're based out of Spain so it may be normal there...) but they're dedicated to being as eco responsible as possible. They track their carbon foot print, as well as those of their employees. Dominic gets to work with engineers, gets to learn about alternative energies and is helping decrease the world's (they have contracts in Chile, Brazil, U.S., etc...) dependence on oil and coal. These are HUGE things for him!!! It's a great job. AND....we have benefits!! Woo hoo!!! And while this is a great job, this is by no means a career for my amazing husband. My wonderfully talented and insanely creative love is a writer and artist. It's his passion. AND...he happens to be amazing at it! (For some examples of his artwork visit his webpage here.) One of his drawings has been published in Beyond Centauri, a Sci-Fi / Fantasy mag for young readers and he may have more published by them later this year. It's very exciting but it certainly doesn't pay the bills. Yet. It will someday. Dominic has an incredibly creative mind/vision. He's been writing (and doing some illustrations for) a book. He's taken writing courses to further his talent/ability. He's submitting a couple of short stories he's written to magazines. He's working it. In addition to actually working...
So this brings us to the potential impact this STUPID MS may have on our/his life. MS can not only cause physical impairments of various kinds, but can also cause cognitive impairments. So...my husband faces not only potential limitations on his physical ability to provide for his family in the immediate, but also faces potential limitations on his creative process to eventually provide for his family and exercise his mind/creative skills.
Could I go back to work if it came to it? Of course. Will I if that's what needs to happen? OF COURSE! But it doesn't change the actual facts, nor will it change how it makes him feel. Could I get a job now and put Justice in daycare? Yeah....but to no end. Whatever earnings I brought in would pay for childcare and that's about it. Whether your kids are in childcare or not, I'm sure most if not all of you know how incredibly expensive childcare is. What on earth would be the purpose of going to work just so I can pay for my daughter to be with someone else??? Ya know?!
This STUPID MS is already affecting these things. He's having great difficulty focusing on much of anything (the insanely small details of his artwork) including computer screens (his writing) through this double vision. I can't imagine his "pain" and frustration. He doesn't think that this double vision is going to last very long and I sure hope that he's right.
That's something else about Dominic. He has incredible faith. And I'm not speaking of faith in a Higher Power right now. I'm speaking of his faith in mankind, science, and technology. Faith in mans ability to heal. Faith in mans ability to evolve. Faith in mans ability to learn and take from science what is necessary to help further itself. He truly believes that given the number of people, in both the US and worldwide that are believed to have MS, we can find a cure and will do so within his lifetime. He absolutely believes this. And not out of hope but out of faith that mankind has the drive to utilize it's full ability and technology. Yet another reason why I love this amazing man.
Do I believe this? No. Do I want it to be true? You bet I do!! But let me tell you what I do believe in.
I believe in Dominic. I believe in US. I believe in our ability to work through whatever comes our way.
I don't believe in Fate, Destiny, or Luck. I believe you should not just 'Take what you get' but 'MAKE what you get'. Don't just 'take the good with the bad' but 'take the good FROM the bad'. Learn from (all) pain; about who you were, who you are, and who and where you want to be.
These beliefs carry me through our daily struggles. They are what keep me as positive and truly happy as I am every day. Because I am just that...truly happy. I have a wonderful husband whom I absolutely love and who inspires me on many levels, I have a beautiful (body and personality) little girl who, along with her father keeps life fun and light. I have a wonderful son who challenges me to be a better person and mother every moment of every day and amazes me with his imagination. I have wonderful friends who support me every step of the way and remind me that being a "Family" isn't about sharing DNA. Tell me how it could possibly get any better than this?!?!
No. Life is not easy. We wouldn't learn and grow if it was. I have faced some pretty big obstacles in my short life and they keep coming. You know what?! Bring em on!!! I'm learning and evolving every step of the way. I'm being challenged and while it may be tough to get through, I'm all the better for it in the end. And so is my handsome husband and my fabulous family....
So...that's where we're at...
He has a doctor's appointment tomorrow with a PCP to hopefully get a referral to a Neurologist and get going. I'll update you as new things come our way.