Happy Monday. :)
I'm certainly of the mind that it will be. I've had a rough couple of weeks. But! I decided that today is the start of a new week therefore it can also be the start of releasing the past couple of weeks. I am seriously in need of some release. Recovery and Healing. In every sense.
I have struggled, more than once recently, with just how much to share on this blog of mine. I follow quite a few blogs. Some are strictly deals/steals/coupons etc., some are book reviews, some are blog biz centered (how to develop, further, monetize, etc.), some are family centered (what we did, what we learned etc.), and a couple are completely open-share everything-no holds barred forums. While I admire the courage, the freedom, and the unabashed sense of self, I just can't seem to do it even though part of me wants to.
First, there's something within me that can't quite share, this publicly anyway, all of the "failures, shortcomings, and hardships" that I and we as a family go through. And believe me, we have ALOT!!! Those of you that know me personally know full well. It's funny. I have little to no problem at all sharing deeply personal experiences with people I know personally (rather freely and maybe sometimes TOO freely) , but when it comes to putting my imperfections out there on display for the general public...I just can't do it. I get the psychology of it, it's just still interesting to me. For some odd reason, I feel this need to 'put on airs'. I think that's the best way to say it... But you know, as I write this, I have this desire to list out all of the things going on and that I'm working on or need help with... Tres Bizarre!
I'm quite torn.
But also feeding in to this is the sensation that "nobody is interested in what we're going through. Nobody wants to read about the sad, difficult, or crazy stuff that goes on in my/our life." Truly. Even though we are in an age of "Reality" tv, voyeurism to the extreme, I still don't see how anyone would be interested in MY life. Even though I admire the courage of those that share it all and part of me wishes that I could just suck it up and do it. Even though I am grateful for those that share it all, for giving the public the chance to see that a)they're not the only ones going through ______, b) EVERYone has problems/issues/difficulties, NOone is perfect, and c) giving others the chance to learn from and take solace in others' experiences, I somehow still feel like I'm the exception....
What the hell is THAT about?!
See?! I'm a BIG ol' mess! ;)
So...the ultimate question....To Spill, or Not To Spill?..... LOL!!
I certainly understand (and highly encourage) the amazingly healing powers of 'venting'. It's absolutely amazing how helpful 'getting "it" out there in the open' can be. Having someone with whom you can share and get feedback (or not get feedback) is invaluable. A support network, no matter how small or big, is essential. You can never have too much TRUE support, too many shoulders.
And then there's this contrary notion floating around my crazy brain that I owe my followers an explanation of my absences. You small group of people that have chosen to be updated whenever some new crazy thing occurs to me or I share a new recipe. I am so appreciative of each of you. I feel like "these people signed up to hear what I have to say/share, they deserve to know what's taking me away from saying/sharing it. They deserve to know that I'm not abandoning them and that they really are important to me".
So. I guess it all boils down to this...
What do YOU think?? You-my readers. Would you like to hear more about the insanity that is our life? The sad and difficult along with the happy and fun?? The reality. The absolute imperfection and what I/we try to learn from it.
What are your opinions about public sharing? What do you like to read about? What do you look for?
Let me know. I am always looking to learn and grow.
Excited for you to help me on my quest,
Mo
I am right there with ya, girl. I have a blog that I haven't posted on in almost a year because my life got too real beginning last summer, yet I read my friend Dawn's blog and so wish I could bare my soul like she does. My reluctance is due to several judgmental family members who don't understand the everyday trials of raising kids like mine, family members who stay sheltered so as not to experience any discomfort and to appear perfect. What you're living is real - raw at times. Know that you will not experience any judgment from me if you choose to share. Life is not easy and feelings run so much deeper than most are willing to admit. What do you have to lose in sharing? What relationships are at risk? What might you gain in sharing? Who might you inspire as a result of sharing? What's that phrase?? Those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter.
ReplyDeleteSo this probably wasn't that helpful. I think I left you with more questions than answers, but it left me thinking about getting my blog going again. See, you inspired me!
You have my full support in whatever you choose! Lots of love to you!
Thank you so much for your thoughts Heather! You are definitely one that knows what I go through...and then some! xo
ReplyDeleteAs for judgemental family members..I don't worry about that. I removed them from my life. I'm not interested in having someone in my life that judges me. Regardless of their status (friend, family, etc.). In my opinion, if you stand to lose a relationship from being honest or sharing what goes on in your life, then it's not worth keeping. Period. I want those in my life that accept me for me. There are no caveats, no exceptions.
Thank you so much for your support and love! I hope that you know you ALWAYS have mine as well.
You are daily inspiration and strength for me.
Do what you feel comfortable with. I have noticed from the few blogs I have and no longer follow or facebook posts that, if people comment on trying to be supportive or agree the poster comes back as being snarky, and it makes the person feel like poo when they do really care how the other is doing.
ReplyDeleteIt really up to you on how much you really want to put out there, but know this if you let it all out it will help and there are women and men who are going through the samething and you can ban together and be come stronger.
Did you just answer your own question then? You aren't scared of what other people think like I tend to be, so your ability to be 'real' could benefit all of us!
ReplyDelete@Heather, yes and no. LOL! I do still worry about what others think of me...it's a retarded fear that I can only shake some of the time.. LOL
ReplyDelete@Quiana, yes, I've seen posts like that as well. I think it's human nature to be defensive. You put something out there of yourself that you feel leaves you vulnerable and when others express their opinions/advice, especially in written form cuz it's sooo hard to get tone/inflection/emphasis from print, the poster may not get what was intended and gets defensive. It's natural. It's the drawback to technology vs. personal interaction... These are things that more people need to think about and take into consideration. This is also why I write the way I do. Lots of caps, italics, bolds, and smileys.
Thank you for your support and thoughts Q.
Hi Mo,
ReplyDeleteI am just finding your blog and this post has resonated with me. I have a blog where I often put it all out there and then ponder whether I should or not. Why does anyone care? Maybe they don't but I do. I try to bring myself back to that point. I'm doing this for me. The people that want to read will. Those that don't won't. I often find that I am drawn to blogs written in the raw by people who just say whatever they are truly thinking. It seems the most prolific writing comes from honesty. Whatever you decide has to be what you feel is right. Anyway, I'll keep reading to see what comes next. :)
Thanks for the thoughts Kelly. I find that I am also drawn to the raw reality. It's somehow comforting to find someone that can really lay it all out there.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support-